Wake me up when it’s ok to be a boy again by Alan Millard

Both sexes start out as innocent creatures, but what society does to them determines the outcome. At what point does sex-prejudice begin? To answer this question we only need to look within ourselves.

When does a child’s sexuality become ‘dirty’? Shortly after being born? Is it not in the eyes of the beholder? With sex looked upon as dirty and shameful (often the case with religion and its very strict guidelines), the sex with the higher sex-drive is deemed dirtier than the other. But there is more to it in comparison than this. The chivalry better-than-you female factor weighs in.

Moments after boys are born most are scared for life by circumcision—a very primitive, religious-based practice. However, due to the male’s sexuality being ‘dirty’ the male is the only one of the two sexes routinely circumcised in our society. As one source conveys, the foreskin is a normal, protective, functioning organ and the practice began in the 1800s to prevent masturbation. Refer to National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers at www.nocirc.org. Male intimacy can not help but be negatively affected by circumcision, with a protective sheath providing lubricant and millions of nerves (sensory receptors) removed. An insightful source also conveys, “Nature does not make mistakes, especially not with the reproductive organs. Humans have evolved over millions of years, and in the struggle for survival, any body part that was not doing a useful job would have disappeared or been modified” (Church and State: Challenging religious privilege in public life, retrieved from www.churchandstate.org.uk/2012/11/the-foreskin-and-the-origins-of-circumcision/). Due to our sexuality being considered “dirty or impure,” circumcision has been used as a way to “purify” someone (History of Circumcision, retrieved from www.cirp.org/library/history/). And this is why the practice is only performed on males (baby boys) in our society.

Applying to the dirty/guilty stigma attached to the male’s sexuality, something many of us have heard is “A penis has no conscience.” This is ridiculous. Does a vagina have a ‘conscience’? A penis is a mere body sex organ as a vagina which has no more or less of a conscience than a penis. This is as silly as assigning the same assessment to the mouth when one is hungry for food. Wouldn’t the assessment be more accurately applied to the female who sexually teases the male?

Let’s also consider the term “Dirty old man.” No counterpart exists regarding women. What is the equivalent? Wouldn’t that be what has recently been coined a cougar? No, because the same negative stigma isn’t there. Why not? This comparison enlightens us to the ridiculous negative (dirty/guilty) association attributed to a man’s sexuality compared to a woman’s. Isn’t a cougar just as ‘dirty’ and old? Apparently not, since that association is hypocritically exclusively saved for a man. One’s sex is all that makes the difference. Not surprisingly, due to her higher status, a woman is given a better term for the same thing. Why not then, in a more positive acknowledgment, refer to a man as a male cougar? Because women are commonly coined with a likeness to cats (e.g. cat fight) and men dogs. A person referred to as a dog has more of a degraded distinction than being referred to as a cat. Okay, then how about a wolf? Isn’t a cat to a cougar what a dog is to a wolf? Yes, perhaps, but then the male association with being a predator upon young women is supported as is often conveyed through the story of Little Red Riding Hood. The discriminatory terms are merely based upon a predetermined sex-prejudice, nothing else. Bigotry, via the dirty/guilty connotation expressed against males, becomes evident by those who hold women less accountable (and more ‘innocent’) in either arrangement—older man, young woman; older woman, young man. Isn’t a woman equally accountable for her choice to be with an older man as is a man for his choice to be with a younger woman? “But she’s young enough to be his daughter”—So what? Another woman may be the same age as his sister, but that doesn’t mean he would want to have sex with his sister. The relationship (blood relatives), not the age, is what matters in either case. Thus, the term “dirty old man,” or ‘pervert’ applied to the male’s sexuality, is no less hate speech regarding men than is the term “nigger” regarding blacks. No one has any business telling consenting adults who they can or can not have sex with.

[Note: Pervert is a term often used synonymous to dirty regarding men for merely expressing their sexual needs and desires. If their sexual expression doesn’t meet female approval, men are condemned and labeled for it. Yet this term is never applied to women who express the same desire in their behavior. Pervert is short for sexual perversion or deviant. Wouldn’t a woman who sexually displays herself without the intention of having sex qualify more as a pervert or deviant than the man who does the same honestly and seeks sex? (Why is a man more of a perv for looking than is a woman for showing? If a man is the one who shows he’s a perv then too.) As in all cases, women are valued above men, and this applies to their bodies/sexuality. Wouldn’t deviating from the sexual norm qualify homosexuals more as perverts? Yet the label is applied more toward heterosexual men than to homosexual men—only because their sexuality is not intended to please women. And the higher value attached to women is also seen in female homosexuality (lesbianism) being seen as more acceptable than (in fact admired over) male homosexuality.]

Little concern is given to men’s health, especially if it in any way stands against women’s best interests, feminists, or the ‘morals’ of the religious crusaders often in association with ‘righteous’ women. The ability to reproduce is tied to a biological time clock. The perpetuation of life is the priority of all living things. Those attributes fulfilling that pursuit are given preference to ensure our longevity—nature’s gauge on life. What produces life equates to preserving youth (life itself). A man who is with a younger, sexually attractive woman is more apt, given all other components of his life are adequate, to live longer compared to others. According to one study, amongst many, men who orgasm the most in older age live the longest (Men’s Journal, Philip Weiss). See The Best Reason to Have Sex at http://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/health/the-best-reason-to-have-sex-20121001). Unless he’s induced artificially by drugs, a man needs the sexual attributes of a youthful woman to orgasm/ejaculate. According to this study “”frequency of intercourse was a significant predictor of longevity.”” The source states that sexual release in men relieves hypertension and helps prevent heart attacks, and hormones released from orgasm are shown to reduce depression, as well as increases the immune system’s ability to fight infections and disease. As for nature’s lease on life, to blame a man for his attraction to younger women, is no different than to blame a woman for having her period. The older man/younger women arrangement is well conveyed in the Dos Equis beer commercials by the most interesting man in the world—“Stay thirsty my friends.”

[Note: It’s accurately conveyed that women are the ones served by men in many male sex enhancer advertisements, but extremely ironic (in fact hypocritical) that young, sexy women are the ones used to convey it. As I’ve heard men say in response, “If I had a woman who looked like that, I wouldn’t need Viagra.”]

As covered, part of the unbiased assessment is to understand that an older man who desires sex is no more dirty than a younger man who desires sex. Both young and old men are attracted to, and stimulated by, the same (what are young) female attributes. What sexually stimulates a man does not change due to his age, but the physical qualities in the female that stimulate him do change in women due to their age. Artificial means (drugs as Viagra) are used to compensate for males to accommodate older women. Thus, all healthy old men are therefore ‘dirty’ old men. And therefore, due to the chivalrous mindset instilled in sexual relations, some men seem to confuse their ability to perform for their sex partner with their own satisfaction and actual pleasure. As part of their male identity or ‘manhood’, men have been conditioned to be satisfied at fulfilling their servitude obligation to women and their sexuality is no exception. But again, a common preference and natural arrangement for men is the younger woman joined in partnership with the older man. And this also doesn’t mean an older man desires to have sex with an under-aged female any more than a younger man has that desire. The stigma is that an older man is used up, ‘spent’, unkept, and no longer serves any useful or reproductive purpose, and when this stigma is attached to his sexuality, one of such a ‘lowly’ status seeking sex is perceived to be dirty. (And as we’ve seen, this extremely negative male stigma is further exaggerated if it can be placed in association with children.)

Thus, due to reproductive attributes corresponding to a female’s sexual attributes, a man’s sexual desires directly correspond to a youthful female regardless of his age. Pornography, an alternative means used for male sexual fulfillment that depends on visual sexual stimulation, is not comprised of older women whose sexual attributes have waned. Porn, corresponding to any male sexual stimulation, relies upon the same principle (youthful female sexual attributes) and is effective only if the one who indulges is a healthy, normal male, regardless of his age. As many women feel threatened by other women within a man’s association who may potentially provide his sexual fulfillment, many women also in the same vein feel threatened by a man’s use of pornography. The employment/benefit situation used in the following case based on a requirement for youth in female prostitutes as youth for those participating in sports attests to a condition that is reliant on men’s sexual preference for younger women. Refer to Dutch prostitutes demand same pension perks as soccer players, retrieved from http://www.nbcnews.com/business/dutch-prostitutes-demand-same-pension-perks-soccer-players-2D11765609.

A man can not will an erection. If not induced by the female’s sexual attributes, given he’s heterosexual, an erection must be artificially-induced (e.g. Viagra). Artificially induced sexual stimulants such as Viagra are for women (to ensure men’s performance), not for men, since the same female rules still apply to men acquiring sex. What would serve men is something to improve the availability, youthfulness, and variety of sex partners—thus a condition that would allow men more opportunity to be stimulated without artificial stimulants. Since the same rules and power held by women apply to men acquiring sex, sexual stimulants support women’s sexual power over men, which situation applies to many men who have less desire to have sex with older sex partners. Without men’s sexual dependence, women, especially at a later point in their lives when their children are gone, are rendered powerless (Vilar, 2008).

An excerpt from the book A Flaw from Within

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